[FMC] April Fool's Giggle from PPS

[Stacy Miller]

Just passing along this clever piece from 'Faking
Places<http://www.pps.org/info/newsletter/april2008/>,'
PPS' April Fools Newsletter Edition.  Who says the farmers market movement
doesn't have a sense of humor?

U.S. economy rebounds thanks to huge growth of farmers
markets<http://www.pps.org/info/newsletter/april2008/US_economy_rebounds_thanks_to_huge_growth_of_farmers_markets>

WASHINGTON-- In a surprising turn of events, new financial data from the
Federal Reserve brought jubilation to both Main Street and Wall Street
yesterday as the economic picture for job growth, new business starts and
overall household income improved markedly improved since last month. But
financial analysts were bewildered about the source of this sudden economic
rebound: farmers markets reopening for spring with fresh produce.

"The looming economic recession that kept Americans on the edge of their
seats for the past months has been entirely and unexpectedly averted by an
infusion of revenue generated at local farmers markets," said a grinning Ben
Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, at an appearance with President
Bush at a farmers market in suburban Reston, Virginia. "We should never have
underestimated the economic prowess of public markets simply because of
their small size, lack of business experience, or previously tiny share of
the commodity system.
*Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke and President Bush announce positive
economic news in a surprise press conference at a D.C. area farmers market
whose vegetables had been carefully screened beforehand.*

The outlook is even rosier for April and May, as farmer's markets reopen in
many states outside the Sun Belt. Concerns were raised by many economists
about what happens late next fall when local farmers markets shut down at
the end of harvest season, but Congress was busy all day yesterday drafting
emergency legislation to construct thousands of indoor year-round public
markets.

The Clinton-McCain-Obama Act, named for its chief sponsors, passed
unanimously in both the House and Senate yesterday and was signed by
President Bush in a special ceremony at Washington's Eastern Market this
morning. It appropriates more than $37 billion dollars to construct and
manage indoor public markets in every county seat and community of more than
2500 people across America.

"Obviously, these sources of local food, public gathering places, and
intra-neighborhood commerce are the engine that will drive the economy of
the United States," Bush said as several members of the White House press
corps fainted in shock.

While this marks a sudden and fundamental shift in the Bush Administration's
policy, press secretary Dana Perino reminded reporters, "George Bush and
Dick Cheney have always been true believers in market economics."

"This administration may have devoted too much attention to large businesses
in our first seven years," Perino admitted. "But in our last ten months we
will do everything possible to level the playing field by boosting
small-scale farmers and enterprises that serve Americans right in their
communities. Farmers markets are just the beginning. We also intend to boost
small, independent neighborhood businesses."

Economic analysts attribute this huge growth in farmers markets to
consumers' newfound interest in eating locally-sourced food, improving
public health, boosting their local economies, creating community gathering
places and supporting small, environmentally-friendly farmers everywhere.

"We must publicly acknowledge the new power of farmers markets in the U.S.,
and admit that we have so far missed the boat on what consumers want:
healthy, locally-grown food," said Alice Walton, daughter of Wal-Mart
founder Sam Walton. "We cannot stand in the way of progress. We plan to add
organic farmers markets to each Wal-Mart store and will look into tearing up
the parking lots to plant heirloom tomatoes."
Interest in locally produced food is expected to grow substantially, fueled
in part by a report to be released next week by the federal Centers for
Disease Control that unearths long-buried research establishing clear links
between eating locally and wildly prolonged human life expectancy.

-- 
-------------------------------------
Stacy M. Miller
Executive Secretary
Farmers Market Coalition
stacy at farmersmarketcoalition.org
304-685-2669
www.farmersmarketcoalition.org

"All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life
is to enjoy it."
- Samuel Butler
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